I could feel sweat running through my back and fatigue weighing me down. I could see the moon peeking through the clouds. My shift is almost over. But I didn't want to go home yet. I didn't have it in me to pretend that everything is okay. But at the same time I felt suffocating here.
The white walls which had listened to more prayer that any temple felt closing onto me. The phenyl smell was hitting my nostrils as I passed through the corridors. Even though it was very late, the hospital was buzzing with people. I could see the nurses rushing towards the ICU. I saw a mother caressing his sleeping son who was met with an accident.
A woman taking care of her husband who was admitted due to a minor heart attack caused due to smoking and their child sitting with a doll beside the man. As I went forward, I was near the maternity ward. I saw a mother lovingly staring at her child and caressing the baby's head.
I smiled at the scene and went ahead. I heard commotion at the entrance. As I went there, I saw a guy who was met with an accident and his head was heavily bleeding. Behind the doctors that guy's mother and friends were present. His mother was crying and praying. But before they could take him to the emergency room, the monitoring beeped and the screen showed a continuous straight line.
As soon as they heard the sound everyone stopped walking and the mother let out an agonizing scream which shook the building. She fell down and the others try to steady her. As soon as she fell, the sky erupted in thunder and heavy rain poured down.
I felt an immense sadness towards that mother and tried to go near her. I slowly walked towards her but before I could reach them they had gone. Was I so lost in my thoughts that I didn't hear them walk away ?
I sent a small prayer to God for her and son and walked out. As soon as I stepped outside the smell of the earth hit me. I booked an auto and was waiting at the entrance. Today my father had dropped me since my scooter was given for a repair. I was just watching everything blankly and not really acknowledging anything around me.
I will be encountering this type of scene often. But some hit me so much that I will become numb to everything around me.
After a few minutes, the auto arrived and I sat inside. As the auto started moving, my mind drifted to the conversation I had with my parents this morning.
FLASHBACK
The smile wouldn't leave my face as I came down skipping one step or two. My friends and I had planned a trip together. Finally, we all will be going to Kedarnath temple. Yes, we all wanted to visit it so bad. And somehow all 4 of us convinced our parents.
Well the convincing part was not the easiest. I could have climbed Mount Everest with my bare feet instead of convincing my parents for the trip. But with the help of my friends and some lies, in my case more lies, they got convinced. Like they say strict parents won't raise great kids but they raise great liars. Well some harmless lies can be okay. At least that's what I am saying to justify myself.
And a trip is incomplete without having a perfect outfit. So we 4 decided to go shopping and empty our bank account. Even though we four are financially independent and almost at the age of having our own kids, to go on trips we have to ask our parents permission. Sadly.
I still live with my parents. I asked my parents if I could go to a different state and live alone but they didn't agree. They are strict but not very strict. You'll get what I mean? But, me being a good daughter agreed to everything they said.
Sometimes I think I should have been a brat like my younger brother, Divith. Throwing tantrums if everything didn't go my way. But my overachieving, obedient elder daughter gene doesn't agree with it. So I have to say yes even though my answer is a big no with capital N.
Anyway, back to the present. I got ready for the day and went down to have breakfast. As I reached the dining hall breakfast smell hit my nose along with the sambrani smell which had diffused all around the house. I think my mother just finished doing her pooja.
It's a tradition to have breakfast together. So I have to be on time.
I went down and saw my father, Jaganath Kulkarni , a high school teacher. He is very honest and hardworking. He is the first one in our family to study well and move out of our village. He bought a house and settled in Hyderabad.
Then he married my mother, who is none other than Rani Kulkarni. She is a sweet lady. It was an arranged marriage. My mother is a writer and she writes poems and short stories during her free time. But the only problem is, even she too won't say no to my father and agree to everything he says.
I understand that she follows everything he says because he is her husband. But me? Even though I am his daughter I have the right to make decisions in my own life. I don't want to agree with everything he says. Sometimes he is wrong too. But I think he is far gone to realize that.
He gave me an opportunity to study and all. But I had only two options. Either engineering or medical. Typical Indian parents. But it was okay for me since it was my dream to be a doctor and serve society.
Then there is my brother, Divith Kulkarni, who is still in high school. He is a spoiled brat. My father allows him to go out and allows him to do whatever he wants. But he has to score good marks in exams and no one should complain about him to my father. He has somehow managed to be as my father expects. But he is far from it.
And finally me. One and only Nyra Kulkarni. I am done with MBBS and currently I am working as an intern in a hospital. Parallely, I am studying for my PG exams.
My mother served us food and together we prayed for a few minutes and started eating. I was lost in my dreamland thinking about the trip I will be going on. My father said something which shook me to the core.
Dhum tana tana dramatic music
"I think it's time for you to get married." My father said not knowing he dropped the whole world in my head.
I didn't know how to react. I just sat there not saying anything. I don't have anything against marriage but right now I am not ready for it. I just got rejected by my crush and I am not over it. I think it was more than a crush.
Also, I want to achieve my dreams and I want to visit many countries. I have set some milestones which I want to complete before my marriage. And I am not sure if my future in-laws will allow me to do further studies or not.
"Appa , I just completed my UG. At least let me complete my PG then I will marry. I am just 24. There is still time right?" I said in a timid voice making sure I am requesting him and not making it feel like I am back answering him.
(Father)
"I am not asking you to marry the first guy I see right? If we start looking for a groom from now , you can marry before it's too late." After saying this he just washed his hands and went from there as though he were telling a fairy tale and everything was as simple as he made it seem.
Then I turned towards my mother hoping to convince her at least.
"Amma.." Before I could complete my sentence she cut me off in the middle.
(Mother)
"It's between you and your father. And you know he won't listen to me. You just talk to them, it's not like you will be married now itself." She just said this, completely shattering my hope.
Then even she went from there not caring that my heart was breaking and like every time I was the only one to pick up those pieces.
"Sis it's gonna be okay. If not, I will help you to run away." My brother said this and winked at me. He then went to god knows where whistling as though he is the king and doesn't have any problem at all.
I just smiled at his antics and thanked god at least he understands me. Then I took my bag and went to the hospital to work. Just because I have some problem, I won't get any holiday.
I then decided to message my friends.
Bolo Zubaan Kesari
It's the group name guys. We four are friends from nursery school. Yeah we fought a lot during school days, but we stuck together. When we started doing professional courses, that was the time our friendship was tested. But we overcame everything. That was the period where our friendship turned into sisterhood. Everything was worth it.
'Guys, it's been a while. And everything was alright but a problem fell in love with me. This time it's not letting me go. crying emoji
So code red. We cannot go shopping today. With today's mood I don't think I will be able to shop. So let's meet in a cafe or somewhere, I will say everything.'
After getting approval from three of them. I immersed myself in work.
FLASHBACK ENDS
I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't notice I had arrived at my house until the driver snapped his fingers in front of me, snapping from my dream world. I paid him and went inside my house.
It had stopped raining and the after rain smell hit me. I was inhaling it as though I was doing drugs. I saw my father sitting and drinking tea. I just nodded my head towards him and went to my room. I didn't see my mother, maybe she went somewhere.
It's too awkward and I was still upset about the morning. And it was not a new thing, my father is a man of few words.
Then I decided to get ready to go out. It's been a while since we have not gone out. Everything was easier when we were young. We would meet everyday but life happened.
And I think everyone is in need of a break. At least I am in need of one. I just washed my face and looked in the mirror. The girl staring back at me was nothing like the carefree girl she once was. My brown eyes looked dead as though all life had been sucked from me. Dark circles covered my eyes and I was in need of sleep so badly. My long brown hair was loosely braided and some tendrils of hair had escaped and gave me a messy look.
At least my skin was clear without any acne marks except for a few small bumps on my forehead. I was wearing a kurta set and I decided to go in the same dress.
I put some moisturizer on my face and applied kajal on to my eyes and went outside.
Thank god my mother had arrived. It is easier to convince my mother than my father. She was in the kitchen.
"Amma, I am going to a cafe. To meet my friends." I said in a low voice. And got ready to listen to her lecture. But to my surprise something else happened.
What are your thoughts guys? I have made some changes. Do comment and vote.
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