I went and sat silently glancing around the table and saw tasty food prepared by my mother. My mouth watered after seeing it and bit my lip to control myself.
“Appa I am ready.”
As soon as the words left my mouth everyone stilled for a while. I just continued to have breakfast not wanting to look at anyone. The tension dissipated as I spoke.
I knew my father would have a proud smile that I am being an obedient daughter and would be determined to find a perfect match for me. Or maybe who would be a perfect son in law.
My mother would be happy that I agreed to her husband’s words. Whereas or maybe my brother would be surprised that I gave in too soon or maybe he doesn't even know what’s going on?
I know my father gave me a choice. But I also knew if I hadn’t agreed both would be disappointed. Sacrifices, sacrifices. Or maybe I am being complicated right now.
“You won’t be disappointed this time, Nyra.” He said in a determined voice and stood up to go to work.
“You made the right choice, Nyra.” My mother said and went inside to get ready. Maybe to go to a temple or some cultural programme.
As I turned towards my brother. He was staring at me waiting for me to speak up.
“You agreed so soon?” He asked, astonished that I agreed this time easily as I was sulking last time.
“Yeah.” I didn’t have any words to answer his question.
I haven’t even processed all of this. I am still in autopilot mode. On one hand I feel attracted to a guy for the first time in my life and who makes me feel like a teenager in love.
On the other hand, my family’s expectation lies on me. And I am scared to be a disappointment. Even though I have grown into an adult, I am still a child inside who wants to please her parents. I am scared that if I stop being the way they want me to be, I will stop receiving all the love I am getting now.
I was lost in my overthinking when I was snapped out of it when my brother waved his hands in front of my face.
“Okay. It’s your wish. If you want someone to talk to or want some help I am there.” He said in a reassuring tone and went to school.
I was done with breakfast. So I got up and went to work. It was a whole ride of overthinking and battling with my heart.
As I reached I went inside and got ready for work. I was an intern here. I am preparing for my PG. It was always my dream to be a surgeon. One day.
Then I went on with my day as usual. As I was going back to my cabin, I saw someone standing at the entrance. I stopped on my tracks when I saw who it was. My heart started beating faster as I slowly walked towards him.
My feet were not in my control as I walked towards him. My surroundings around me faded as I slowly went near him. He slowly turned around and noticed me.
My eyes widened slightly as my eyes connected with his. I was in a daze as I slowly reached him. When I went and stood in front of him, I looked up and stared at him. My mouth slightly opened as I felt a lack of oxygen in my lungs and was desperate to take more air.
Then he gave me a smile and I knew I was done for. I knew then I would not be able to let go of him. He had ruined me for other men.
I stood there trying to get my senses back but I was lost in him. His lips then moved, he spoke something. But I didn’t hear a single word he said, caught in a trance.
Then he snapped his fingers bringing me back to earth.
“Huh?” I answered him. Maybe he must be thinking that I am a psychopath or something because I keep staring at him. I think I will lose the first guy I liked because I am being creepy.
“I said hello, how are you? But you are lost somewhere. Are you alright?” He asked, concerned.
“Yeah. I am alright. Are you though? You seem to be visiting the hospital lately.” I asked. But somewhere in my mind I knew I was hoping that he came for me.
“Just for a regular checkup. You know the accident.” He said his lips curving into a lopsided grin.
“Oh okay.” I didn’t know what else to say. Have I misunderstood the situation?
Then we both stood awkwardly not knowing what to say.
“Hey I just wanted to ask you something?” He said and stared at me, his gaze pleading asking me to agree to it.
I gestured to him to come inside my cabin. As I walked in front of me, I could feel his body radiating warmth and I felt a shiver run through my spine.
I sat on the chair and he sat on the chair beside me. Then I looked at him and was waiting curiously to know what he had to say.
After a few minutes when he didn’t say anything and kept glancing here and there I decided to say something.
“Soo..” I just left my sentence hanging so that he can start speaking.
He then turned towards expecting me to speak wearing a cute expression. I didn’t know if I should be annoyed or laugh looking at his expression.
“Well you said you wanted to say something? You don’t remember ?” I asked, speaking to him as though he is not a grown man but a mere kid.
“Oh right. I wanted to ask you something.” Then he nervously scratched his neck and gave me an awkward smile. I just kept staring at him trying to intimidate him because I knew he would be. Hehe. Evil me.
“Actually I wanted to ask if you are free?”
“Why do you ask?”
“Can I take you out to drink coffee?” He said and looked at me nervously waiting for my response.
When he completed saying it my heart skipped a beat. I somewhat knew he was into me. But listening to it from him makes it different. I was feeling giddy and was bouncing on my feet.
But I was in the mood to have some fun. So, I decided to tease him and mischievous ideas flashed through my mind.
“No, I don't like coffee.” I said and blankly stared at him flooding my hands. I knew he would be scared or at least get nervous. But to my surprise something unexpected happened.
“Then let’s drink chai?” He raised one of his eyebrows.
“What if I say I don’t like that too?”
I was eagerly waiting for his response and wanted to know how he would convince me. He took a moment to rethink his words and was nervously darting his eyes all over the room. His nervousness was cute.
“Then what about a walk?” He asked me with hope filled eyes.
I pretended to think about it keeping my index finger on my cheek and tapped pretending to think. I saw him through the corner of my eyes and he had a puppy face and was waiting in anticipation.
“Okay then.” As I completed my sentence his face lit up with happiness and he stood up in excitement. Warmth spread through me as I looked at his innocence.
I decided to stop worrying about everything and go with the flow. I didn’t want to dwell on what if’s and everything. Maybe I may regret it or something, for once I decided to listen to my heart.
“Great then, shall we?” He said and extended his hand urging me to take it.
I was scared for a second and I hesitated for a moment. Then I slowly intertwined my left hand with his right hand. My hand fit perfectly with his hand. My cold hands started warming through his hands.
We both stepped outside holding hands together. It was almost time for me to go home. I felt protected under his tall frame. I didn’t see any of my friends as we both walked side by side.
As we stepped out of the hospital the breeze brushed onto us. Both of us walked as the evening sun casted a warm glow on us. I turned my head towards him.
He had a small smile on his face with a content look. The sun fell on his face making his green eyes pop out even more. I was biting my lips to control the smile threatening to break free. I knew this would be one of the most memorable moments in my life.
“So I know we met before. But this is different. Say something about yourself?” He asked, a genuine interest shining in his eyes.
“There is nothing much to say about me. I am just a basic girl.” I said slightly flustered with the way he was gazing at me. I tucked my hair behind my ears and bit my lip to control the smile.
“Right now. I am looking at you and I am not finding anything basic. I am looking at a beautiful woman who is unique in every way. The way you talk, smile, the way you glance at me secretly. Everything is unique.” He said and looked into my eyes.
Everything faded when I looked into his eyes. I was lost in his green eyes which held adoration and something else which I cannot name. As we both were busy staring at each other, we heard someone whistle.
I turned towards the noise and saw it was a guy. Maybe a teenager.
“Nice jodi.” He said and ran away when his mother came behind him.
We both just laughed. And resumed our walking. I saw a chair and gestured to him to go there. We both sat on the bench, a chill ran through me as the cool metal touched my skin.
We sat beside each other lost in our thoughts. I could hear the vehicles passing by, the rustling of leaves as people passed in a hurry to reach their destination, the orange hues of sun painting the sky radiating it. His presence provided me with the warmth which I was yearning for.
“So what’s the reason you chose medicine?” He asked and was genuinely interested.
I thought for a while contemplating how to put it into words. “I don’t know. But I wanted to help people. And some incident changed me.”
“You have this desire and dedication towards your work which I admire.” He said and gazed at me with admiration.
I blushed at his words and looked down, tucking my hair behind my ears.
“Thank you. And what about you?”
“I am someone who is still finding a right place which makes my heart feel at peace and home.” And looked at me, as though searching for something in the depths of my soul.
“It’s okay. Everyone is figuring it out in some way or the other.”
As we both spoke random things, time quickly flew by. And the sun had set long back and it was dark with stars twinkling in the sky, and moon shining.
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